John Hughes' Funeral Attended Mostly by Narrowly Defined Stereotypes

The funeral for director/screenwriter John Hughes was held in a suburb outside of Chicago this morning. Hughes died last Thursday of a heart attack while visiting New York City. A family spokesman said that the heart attack came as Hughes raced Kevin Bacon down the street in pursuit of an available cab.

At this morning's funeral service, witnesses say that most of the mourners fit a little too easily into generic funeral cliches. There was the "grieving widow", the "priest" and the "guy who's just there to try to see Molly Ringwald."

One attendee, Evan Siberling, said, "I sat there during the service and I was thinking, 'Wow. This really speaks to me and where I am in life right now.' But I'm betting that, twenty years from now, I'll watch a video of the funeral and wonder why the hell I liked it so much."

No DW2K9 players had been looking for Hughes' 16 candles to be snuffed out.