Ed McMahon of Hollywood, California, You May Already Be a Winner Corpse!

(Scene from a hospital room June 22, 2009)
Doctor: Mr. McMahon, I'm sorry to tell you that you don't have much time left.
Ed: YOU ARE CORRECT, SIR!
Doctor: No seriously, man, you're going to die, probably tonight.
Ed: DO TELL, O' EXALTED ONE! (Guffaws in an exaggerated manner for 10 seconds)
Doctor: Clearly, I'm not getting through to you. (walks out)
Ed: HEYYYYYYY-OOOOOO! (dies of unknown semi-natural causes)

Television legend Ed McMahon died today, following suit only a few short months after his dignity.

Co-host of Johnny Carson's The Tonight Show for 30 years from 1962-1992, Ed McMahon was the best-known sidekick in history. Unfortunately, McMahon would live long enough to squander both his star power capital (making Star Search and TV Bloopers and Practical Jokes) and his actual capital (having his house foreclosed on in recent years).

One is left to wonder if the widow of the man who inspired "Weird" Al Yankovic's "Here's Johnny"* will collect on one of those low-cost Colonial Penn Life Insurance Policies? Well, if not, at least Cash4Gold has her covered and will buy all of his fillings.

Unbelievably, no DW2K9ers "Carnac"ed his death, and 2009 remains a scoreless tie. Everybody tip back a can of "The King of Beers" for Big Ed tonight.

*Hat tip to SuicideByDouche for the reminder on the song!